In their honor, I’ve decided to share some of my favorite Shakespearean stores with you.

Ahem.. voice check…me me me me…you you you you….

Okay, listen up now.

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who fell asleep in a bucket

The tide carried him out

And tossed him all about

And when he awoke he said “Oh F…..

Oh dear, that’s not Shakespeare, that sounds more like Yvonne..

My apologies, this one is definitely Shakespeare.

There once was a lord named Macbeth

For the King, he envisioned a death

His lady wandered about

The damned spot did not get out

And Macduff made him take his last breath.

That Shakespeare was a talented guy, Yvonne’s not too bad either (and she makes awesome cookies).

So if you have any spare time today, honor Shakespeare, carry on a conversation with a skull, wander about wringing your hands, be super dramatic on a balcony, cast the the die or dice if you have two, you could even throw on some tights and ruffles if you’d prefer.

Or instead you could honor Yvonne and eat some cookies. I mean really, English lit is wonderful and all but cookies doth be much better! If music be the love of food and all that…

Since Dummy doesn’t have any cookies, he went the Shakespearean route. I can’t figure out if he’s King Lear, Richard, Henry V or what. He seems to have Caesar’s die which doesn’t bode well for a peaceful day. I  had better go make him cookies before he pouts himself right off the stage. He is such a diva. He even stole my little harlequin doll’s pants so he couldn’t make an appearance. I think I’ll heckle him first..

Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung, away! By this wine, I’ll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an’ you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale juggler, you! More of your conversation would infect my brain.

Okay, now I feel better, I’m off to make cookies. have a good day all!

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©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2013

]]> http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/2013/04/23/happy-bardday/feed/ 17 thepurpledogpaintingblog Shakesdummy©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2013 http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/2013/04/06/sheep-squatch-sammy-squatch-and-little-green-men/ http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/2013/04/06/sheep-squatch-sammy-squatch-and-little-green-men/#comments Sun, 07 Apr 2013 00:08:39 +0000 thepurpledogpaintingblog http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/?p=1889 ]]> Recently I watched a very serious documentary. In this documentary, two charming young fellows, let’s call them Crackalackin’ and Sippin’Shine, fell prey to a mysterious and elusive creature deep in the Appalachian forests of West Virginia. One day while wandering through the woods, misfortune befell them when they came upon this dastardly, devilish, despicable, degenerate of a demon.

Even though they were terrified, petrified, paralyzed and stupefied, they were able to give a clear and concise description.

The creature was gigantic! Nine feet tall at least! It was a slovenly creature with disheveled wooly white fur. It had a damp rank smell.
It had flaming red eyes that gleamed with malicious intent, much like my Siamese, Minou’s would glitter if I did not obey her every command, may she rest in peace. (or at least rest under the large rock and brick memorial I built for her, I told my neighbors that it was to keep the coyotes from disturbing her grave but I really did it because I still think she was part vampire and I didn’t want her digging herself out)

See what I mean..

>

Man I loved that cat.

Anyway.
It had ram’s horns, not the musical instrument or the plant, but horns similar to those one might see on a ruminant animal.
It’s muscular arms were outstretched as if it was channeling Frankenstein’s creation. At the end of it’s arms, raccoon like paws with eagles talons reached for them.
And it had a possum bottom. With a prehensile tail.

It was the platypus of monsters.

That’s right it was the…the…

Da Da Da Dum…..

The SHEEPSQUATCH!!

(a distant clap of thunder is heard)

Or a large albino platypus. Take your pick.

But in the moments before Crackalackin’ and Sippin’Shine noticed this smelly, white, towering, wooly, horned, Siamese eyed, raccoon pawed, eagle taloned, Frankensteinian creature with a possum butt…

they innocently mistook it for a tree.

Which begs the question. What the hell kind of trees do they have in Appalachia?

Are they like this tree? I call this photo “The Mad Tree” because that tree is mad. I didn’t’ stop and ask why. It didn’t seem like the type of tree to appreciate any kind of neighborly concern.

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Not to cast aspersions on the tales of Crackalackin’ and Sippin’Shine but I live with a Sammy Squatch.

A Sammy Squatch is a rare but not so elusive creature.

While the Sammy Squatch (Minimus Canis Squatchacus) is one of the smaller members of the Squatchie familiaris, he does share some of the distinguishing features of his larger cousin, Sheep Squatch, (Grandis Gluteus Bestia).  He too has wooly disheveled fur and sometimes smells rather cadaverous. He, however, does not have raccoon paws with eagles talons but instead has mole feet. He does not have a prehensile tail but indeed has a tail that Sammy Squatch grooming books describes as carrot like, yes he has a gluteus vegetablis (that being the scientific term for carrot butt).

The Sammy Squatch prefers to hang out in brand new recliners that nobody else has actually sat in yet, not that I’m bitter or anything, while drinking his beer.

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And even though I’ve been hanging out with the Sammy Squatch for six years, never once have I ever mistaken him for a tree. I’ve never even mistaken him for a shrubbery.

I mean it’s not like they saw a Triffid. I could understand mistaking a Triffid for a tree.

It can be noted that they ran as soon as they saw it so how they saw it’s Frankensteinian arms with it’s raccoon hands and eagles talons while also noticing it’s possum butt is beyond me. It must have been standing in a very awkward position (or maybe they interrupted it’s yoga session). At this point I lost all faith in this “documentary”. I’m starting to believe it may not have been an actual documentary.

I was about to turn it off when they went onto a tale about aliens and a shootout in Appalachia. Now who can resist that.

So these people are in a cabin playing cards (poker) and of course they weren’t drinking at all (really) when one of them noticed a creature in the woods. He described this creature as hunched over with front arms as long as it’s back legs and the arms were touching the ground. In other words it had four legs. It had big brown eyes, velvety skin and soft pointy ears. So of course they shot and shot and shot (p’ting! p’ting! p’ting!) breaking all the windows and yet it never once returned fire.

Because it was a deer.

And as everyone knows, deer don’t use shotguns, they prefer slingshots.

But that is heck of a story to come up with up with just to avoid paying for all the windows they broke while doing lord knows what. I’m only telling you this just in case you break a window and need an excuse for doing so. You’re welcome.

Meanwhile in my own backyard, a rampant invasion has taken place. All over the lawn there are dozens of little crop circles, swirly ones with holes in the middle. They look exactly like the marks a skunk would make when searching for slugs. They also look exactly like the landing marks a miniature fleet of little tiny UFO’s would make. So either I have skunks or I can go with the more likely explanation which is that little tiny aliens are invading the planet nightly.

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Okay that last photo may be a wee bit tampered with.

My apologies, I’ll go stand in a corner.

Meanwhile, fancy a flaming inferno photo?

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Have a good one. And watch out for mad trees.

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©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2013

Alas and alack, my computer is corrupt. Not surprising really, I do live in Illinois after all. Yes, the State that was just charged with securities fraud which I guess makes all the Illini and our puppy dogs too, felons (allegedly).

“Oh I’m a felon, you’re a felon, he’s a felon, she’s felon, wouldn’t you like to live in Illinois too!”

*sigh*

So anyway, I have 2600 plus error messages on my computer. And yet it keeps on going, generating error after error after error. I’d like to say I’ve never worked with people like that but sadly, I have.

At least I’m over my Hitchcock/Poe/Ansel Adams stage..

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Almost.

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Okay I think I’m really done.

(I’m not making any promises mind you.)

I was considering going back to being a bird stalker (allegedly).

But my bird stalking desires were temporarily sated by finally being able to take a photo of the barred owl in my backyard. For almost four years he’s been back there yelling “Who cooks for you!’.  I don’t know why he’s so obsessed with what goes on in my kitchen but at least I now have his photo in case he breaks in and rearranges my pots and pans.

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So at a loss at what to do with myself I went over to the local zoo.

Little did I know that they recently acquired a panda. Yes a panda!

It’s on their Endangered Animals Carousel.

This is the rare prancing, fanged panda.

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Then I meet the Tiger who was seems to be designed to make sure your child never ever wants to go back on a carousel.

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And just in case that didn’t scare them..

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Which explains why this one looks so nervous.

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But doesn’t explain the supercilious grin on this one.

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Which is followed by my favorite, the not so rare naughty cat with a fish.

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And all this means is that I spent all day in a zoo and mostly took photos of fake animals.

Yeah, that’s how I roll.

I finally remembered how to paint again, thank goodness, I was getting worried.

This is an acrylic, of a pond near my house with ice on it as the sun was thinking of going down.

As you can see, I also remembered how to write run on sentences.

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This is an acrylic that was done in a paint a long session on Wetcanvas (with thanks to Beth for putting her photo in Wetcanvas’s Reference Image Library).

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And this one is also from a paint a long on Wetcanvas, which I hosted as a lesson in painting on a black background. My thanks to SBJ for the original reference photo.

Note: There’s no time limits on a paint a long, so if you want to join in, go for it!

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My apologies for not being around too much, other then sheer procrastination, I have no excuse.

None at all!

Take care!

I’ll be back.

(Please read that last part in a Schwarzenegger type of voice.)

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©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2013

The scene is set. An isolated farmhouse before the storm.

A ladder leaning against a lone tree.

Here a heedless harpy harangues her hapless husband.

The husband, his soul pierced by a thousand verbal barbs, slouches over his basement work table and slowly twists a rope over and over.

And as the skies darken, faint thunder is heard rolling across the barren landscape. The basement stairs creak as the man heavily climbs them with the rope in his hands.

Twisting, twisting….

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Meanwhile a lone eagle flies over a railroad span.

The river rages below.

The wind whips through the trees. A light mist settles.

A ravenous troll lurks below the bridge as a footsteps of a young goat rings out.

Clip. Clop. Clip. Clop. Clip…

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Oh sorry Sampson, didn’t mean to scare you. Thank you Zeus for covering his eyes. Sammy is a bit nervy at times. He also needs a bath..

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Why don’t you guys go and chase some birds?

Oh I see. Yes, that is an awful lot of birds.

A Hitchcockian amount of birds, one might say.

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Where’s an eagle when you need one?

There he is!

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Now, where was I? I was going somewhere with this Hitchcock stuff.

Never mind, I’ve lost it. Here, look at a photo of Zeus chasing his nose.

Yup, that’s what he’s doing. Don’t worry though, he didn’t catch it.

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Well. I guess I should quit messing around with the camera and go paint something.

Till we meet again..

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©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2013

He pretended to be shocked but we all know he liked it!

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Happy Saint Valentine’s Day all!

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©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2013

I decided I would not rest until I had a decent non goofy looking photo of Zeus. So I prepared myself for an arduous year long journey of begging, treat offerings, bone buying blackmail and general doggyness. I took him out on the first day of the year to start our journey together and..

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Sooo…apparently I will have a lot of free time on my hands this year.

Which is great! Because it’s that time of year!

“What time of year?” you ask..

Well it’s the time of year for my favorite sporting event.

Yes it’s time for the Synchronized Aerobatic Flying Event.. SAFE for short.

Oh, you missed it? What a shame, let me give you the rundown.

As I arrived at the Rock River, the spectators, mostly from the Bald Eagle Fan Club, were beginning to arrive and jostling for seats.

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As they settled in, eagles to the left and center, herring gulls to the right and petrified ducks huddled in the middle, the juvenile eagles (juveniles have brown heads, they don’t get their white feathers for several years. This greatly helps reduce the sale of liquor to young eagles although occasionally one tries the old dump a box of cornstarch on the head trick to fool unwitting vendors) put on a rousing demonstration show featuring a half pike, reverse vertical aileron position. Well done, young ones!

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With the demonstration over and anticipation for the main event growing, a roar came from the crowds. Shrieks, piping whistles and loud kuk kuk kuk calls came from the eagles and gulls and even the petrified ducks occasionally omitted a small quavery quack.

Then the first team for the pairs entered the arena. A shocked silence filled the air as the referee called out their names.

” Ladies and Gentlebirds! Please welcome for their first time at the Annual SAFE Competition….

Seigel the Eagle and Egal the Seagull!!”

That’s right for the first time in history, an eagle and a gull had paired up. Shocking, right.

But soon their beautiful highly technical set, performed to an exceptionally moving version of  U2′s “Window in the Skies” sung by the charming Crimson Cardinal Chorus, delighted the crowd.

Here they execute a lovely Lunkenheimer air taxi move with their legs in perfect tuck position.

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And here’s the infamous tetrahedron wings up yaw maneuver. Bravo, I say! Bravo!

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Followed by the cross volitant split flap maneuver.

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Please note, I did apologize to Egal the Seagull for the fuzziness of  his photos. My camera was acting up in the cold. It was downright icy out there. He was a bit miffed at first. Then we got to talking and I told him how, on my great grandmother’s birth certificate from 1886 London, England, my great great grandfather’s job is listed as “Scavenger”. Once we realized we both came from a long line of honorable, hard working Scavengers ( with a capitol S, please) we got along like a house afire. Strange term “a house afire”, connotates affability between parties but I’ve had a house afire and let me tell you it’s anything but affable. Now don’t try that yourself, just trust me on that one.

Of course as per usual over in the judging feeders, the officials were fighting tooth and nail. To no one’s surprise the French judge, flew off in a huff.

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After much discussion and some squawking, squabbles were settled and Seigel the Eagle and Egal the Seagull were befeathered SAFE champions of the year. In honor of the historical SAFE interavian champion performers and much to the relief of the petrified ducks (that huddled mass at the bottom center) the crowds dispersed peacefully.

Rumor has it that the pair are now being considered for the Nobel Peace Prize.

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Sure a few straggling hecklers had to fly by the stands and mock the crowd.

But all in all it was a good day.

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Mark your calenders and don’t forget to come out for this inspiring sporting event next year!

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©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2013

That’s right. A holiday everyone can celebrate because who doesn’t appreciate a good flashlight, besides the candle lobbyists that is. But ignore them, they’re full of hot wax.

And now for a little Christmas music. ..

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me … An anticlimactic Mayan prophecy…

Now I’m sure everyone is just sick to death of the Mayans and the end of the world hype. But you have to admit it made for some interesting TV viewing. People were stockpiling and hoarding and doing all sorts of thing. I’m not sure why you would stockpile for the end of the world, if it’s the end of the world all stockpiling does is give you more stuff that’ll blow up. We even saw a show on people who were preparing for a Zombie Apocalypse. At one point during that show one of the “experts” said that we all need to be prepared for the next time a Zombie Apocalypse happens. Which begs the question..

When did the last one happen?

But sad to say even in our household we had certain people who just went too far with the whole Mayan thing..

Oh seriously, Dummy!! Put those candles away and get a flashlight!

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Meanwhile we had a pretty good snow storm. They said it was a blizzard and named it Draco. Yes, they did. I’m not sure what meteorology has come to but they all seem to be enjoying themselves a bit too much.

It made for some pretty pictures though. There was snow on my windowpane..

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And this lone tree had to get all overly dramatic. All the other trees only had snow on their windward sides but this guy went all crazy and has snow on his windward and leeward sides. Quite odd really.

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And as I was out in the backyard, this guy came flying over. He took one look at Sampson in his lime green glow in the dark jacket and laughed himself silly. But in my defense, Sammy is short and white. No one can see him in the snow. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. That he looks adorable in his lime green glow in the dark jacket is moot.

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I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

And to my husband a very Happy Anniversary!! xoxo

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©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012

]]> http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/2012/12/21/its-not-the-end-of-the-world/feed/ 14 thepurpledogpaintingblog dumymayan©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 frost©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 tree©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 eagle©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/2012/12/19/la-la-la-laaaa/ http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/2012/12/19/la-la-la-laaaa/#comments Thu, 20 Dec 2012 02:36:49 +0000 thepurpledogpaintingblog http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/?p=1748 ]]> I haven’t been blogging much lately, not for any particular reason, I mean besides everything in my house breaking at once and a total lack of coordination in dealing with those break downs. But eventually I did manage to get somewhat coordinated and put up my Christmas tree. I have hundreds of bulbs so it takes me awhile. I used a fold up towel dryer to sort my bulbs. Clever, no?
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I made a few new discoveries this year. For instance I discovered that when I put reindeer antlers on Sampson, he sinks. His head gets lower and lower until paralysis sets in and he is stuck on the floor. Apparently he thinks they are very very heavy. This made him quite sad. Fortunately his little bear was there to help him out.

I’m thinking this may possibly be useful in the future.

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I also discovered that reindeer antlers have a strange affect on Zeus as well. He realized that the wearing of reindeer antlers changed him into a reindog with super powers. Super Reindog, we call him. These super powers give him the ability to lie on my bed, because although ordinary dogs are not allowed on the bed and think that I don’t know they get up there the second my back is turned, reindogs have no such restrictions. Yes, a reindog will lie right on the bed in front of me and coyly wave his paw. Reindogs are very impertinent animals.

Well that reindog has another think coming if he thinks I’m going to put up with that…

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I also discovered that when the moon is full with Jupiter to it’s upper left and the Christmas lights are on, you can get some pretty cool shots.  You must however stand in your driveway wearing pajamas, boots and furry earmuffs to do so properly.

;

I also did some painting. Christmas ones of course.

This is an acrylic, 3×5 on 300gsm watercolor paper. I used one of my goose photos as a reference. This naughty goose has stolen someone’s Christmas ribbon. Geese are mean like that.

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This goose  is being downright pestiferous. Fortunately this snowman appears to be a bohemian jovial type of snowman as opposed to the perfidious abominable type of snowman.

Acrylic, 3 x 5 inches.

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I also painted a little tiny snow scene, this one is acrylic, 2 x 3 inches. I don’t know why I made that so small, I was leaning in as I painted it and it just came out that way.

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This is another snowy scene. Had a bit of fun with the purple and yellows in this one. If you look closely, you’ll see a small pestiferous perfidious abominable snowman hiding in the shrubbery. Okay, not really. I just like using the words ‘pestiferous’ and ‘perfidious’.

Acrylic, 3 x 5 inches.

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I went out the other day, the light was terrible but I did meet up with this fellow. I was enchanted to meet him. He was, well not so much..

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Back at the ranch, Dummy decided to climb the Christmas tree so he could meet the Christmas Angel. He has been infatuated with her for years. He thought that as he started out as lowly carved piece of scrap wood, that she would not like him. He was pleasantly surprised to find that she started out as a toilet paper roll. They’ve been inseparable ever since.

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Happy Holidays!!

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©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012

]]> http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/2012/12/19/la-la-la-laaaa/feed/ 25 thepurpledogpaintingblog xmas3©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 Sammy ©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 zeusxmas©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 moonbokeh©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 xmas4©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 xmas5©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 xmas2©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 xmas1©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 eagle1©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 dummyangel©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012 http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/2012/11/21/gobble-gobble-cluck/ http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/2012/11/21/gobble-gobble-cluck/#comments Wed, 21 Nov 2012 18:48:35 +0000 thepurpledogpaintingblog http://thepurpledogpaintingblog.com/?p=1726 ]]> Sing a song of sixpence

With a bottle full of rye

One little ceramic bird

Baked in a pie

While the repairman is here

Throwing everything about

I had a leak, oh dear

And the carpet needs to be thrown out!

My sister is in her car

Coming closer and closer.

The turkey needs some stuffing

But I’ve blown up my toaster.

The dogs are in the backyard

Playing in the muck.

And Dummy is very worried

Because he thinks the bird is stuck.

But nevertheless it’s Thanksgiving!

And that’s a reason to cheer.

So to all my friends near and far,

Have a Happy one this year!!

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Dummy get out that pie!  He’s not stuck!!

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©Virginia Spencer, thepurpledogpaintingblog, 2012

Reblogged from thepurpledogpaintingblog:

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

Read more… 61 more words